Collective Thoughts

This post may well be mirorred elsewhere, in that it refers to an event that I attended with many others.  Yesterday was organised the first of a series of events at the Deitide Playground on Deitide Island, a “munch” held to generally “chew the fat” on BDSM and D/s.  It was scheduled at 4pm GMT to place it at a time that would allow most regions of the globe to be awake and attend.

We had failed to appreciate that the US daylight-saving time kicks in before the British one, and of course, SL runs to Pacific Time, since Linden Laboratories is in the Western USA.  As a result our conversion to SLT was in error and our US guests arrived an hour earlier than we expected!  Oops!

Thankfully no-one very much was seriously inconvenienced by the error and a good meeting ensued.  We had several key members of the Subbie Union present including the President Lex Berchot, who is also on the Deitide/Bondage Ranch Admin, and Mistress Vannesh Cannoli, whose psychology and sociology teaching has brought her into SL.  Several well – known UK residents attended, including Mistress Inara Pey, bringing her sharp wit and humour to the occasion.

The event was organised by my Domina , who brings a vast breadth of D/s experience to such occasions, and we were pleased also to welcome the owners of Deitide, Mr Chorazin Allen and Ms Ally Boyle, without whose tireless work in SL none of this would have been possible.

Much was talked about, largely to do with RL experience of BDSM and D/s.  We hope to promote the fact that BDSM and especially D/s life is a funtion of the human condition, and as such, is centred around love and understanding, and is not a heartless, cruel perversion.

As with all things SL, you take and give what you wish,  but I encourage folk to come to future munches, almost certain to be held on Sundays, at the Deitide Playground, and either learn more about our way of love, or add your own “two penn’orth”  to the debate.

Time Passes – The Nature of Submission

Now this is a difficult topic to blog about rationally. I have been sub to Domina Rachael Ezvalt for over six months RL now. We are partnered and we love each other. Mark that – we love each other! Not – I love my Domina – I am no pain or humiliation slut. I submit to Domina because I know it pleases her. That is not “Topping from the Bottom” because I do not demand domination or love from her.

I do it because it satisfies a deep need in us both. As far as that goes it suits us very well. Some folk use SL as a game, to me it is no game!

I love my Domina as surely as if I had her with me in RL, and I believe that she loves me in the same way. She tells me so, and as I have never trusted anyone before in my RL or SL, I trust and believe her.

SL has seemed an inconstant thing to me lately…people have come and gone from our SL at a bewildering speed. They presumably did not find in SL the deep satisfaction that I do. Most recently an old SL friend that I had not seen for many weeks reappeared, to my great joy, because she feels many of the things that I do. Sadly her Dominant, whom she loves dearly, will be out of SL for some considerable time – I would find that heartbreaking! I hope we can spend some time together, sharing and building our SL.

My Domina needs a sub and today I am as restricted and restrained as I have ever been, back under RLV at least for today (I hope no longer), since I can, I think, provide her with the submissive obedience she craves. As I said above I do not do this because I crave bondage, though I love it I admit! I do it out of love for my Dominant.

I have said before that I believe that love is important, nay, pivotal in a good, lasting D/s relationship. I remain convinced of it. Domina will push me to my tolerance limit if I know her at all, but not beyond it…I am no use to her broken or resentful.

So there needs to be sensitivity in a D/s relationship – on both sides. If there is that then knowledge of each other and trust will grow and the relationship will become better and closer.

There are other forms of relationship in SL and some work in RL too – I envy those people – I cannot carry my SL existence into RL – I only wish I could! Two SL friends of mine recently met in RL – they enjoyed their meeting and will meet again – this is a result for SL in my opinion. But for me there is still my glorious Domina in SL, and I remain as fiercely loyal to her now as I have ever been.

I merely add this – take SL seriously if you can – it will reward you. There are technical issues with SL, of course there are…but in the end it is the people sitting at their consoles, driving those avatars that matter. SL and D/s is simply an extension of the human psyche, and as such is a vibrant wonderful thing.

All Change! (Again)

This time I have made a firm decision.  The changes you see in my profile, and if you should meet me inworld will apply for a while now!

Domina wanted this change and I was pleased to be able to comply with little fuss.  The result is a somewhat submissive Kitty!  The range of cute gestures and animations is quite astonishing, if one looks carefully, and while the Neko or Steampunk imagery may be a little old-fashioned now, it suits me fine!

What of the Domme?  Well Kitties don’t Domme.  Do they?  They might now!  As with so many things, we will just have to wait and see!  I still live a D/s life and that will NOT change.  Neither will my love for my Domina alter, apart from it becoming even stronger.  I am now Rachael’s Kitty, and I adore her!

True to Form

Well, D/s is complex, isn’t it?  A couple of weeks ago I was raring to go as a full time Mistress.  Now I am collared and shackled again, and loving it!  Can I switch: yes of course, but it isn’t like a lightswitch!

It crept back into me like a thief in the night; something I just had to do!  Also I love to please my Domina, she gets a kick out of Dommeing me, so I am happy to indulge her!

So…am I topping from the bottom?  A bit, I think!  But we’re both getting something out of it, so why not?  There is a significant difference now, though.

When I was fully submissive, I used and loved using RLV.  Now, thanks to LL’s use of Mono, SL grinds to a halt in heavily scripted areas.  I’ve seen subs and slaves more bound by SL than by their Dominant!  This has got to improve!

I find TP difficult on many occasions, but I think this is just SL being a pain.  But for a heavily restrained sub, SL can be a nightmare.  It speaks volumes for some subs that they struggle through the SL glue to please their Dominants.  I am always ready to please my Domina, and she likewise, we are in love and it will endure!

 I was intending to take the leash of a good friend for a time , but until this spell of submissiveness is exhausted, I will not be able to do so, since shackled Mistresses are a little rare.  We will see!  The person concerned may have mined out her own seam of submissiveness by the time I am ready to Domme again, who knows?

One thing I do know, however is that to submit and Domme convincingly, one must spend a great deal of time inworld.  Of that I am sure, even though my judgement is based on very few individuals, who are as immersed as I am.

Is there a deep meaning in this post, why no!   (It may, of course,  lie hidden!)  In virtually every Dominant there is a seed of submissiveness, which grows and blossoms now and again, just as in every sub, there is a seed of Dominance.  Nurture that seed, propogate it and a fully Dominant personality will come forth.  But there will be that seed of submissiveness in that Dominant, and the cycle will repeat.  To think otherwise is delusory, in my opinion.

Careful Thought

This post is made on a day when most folk have better things to do.  This is one of my “Better Things”.

My topic here is the delicate question of how to “Switch” successfully in SL.  There are folk in SL who while Dominant in our second world, are submissive in RL.  There are  not many, I suspect who are Dominant in RL who choose to be submissive in SL.  I wonder why?  I suspect that the RL Dominant just sees no reason to be sub in SL.  That I can understand, but as an undecided case in RL (I’ve never had the opportunity to test myself) with strong subbie tendencies; it was second (if you will excuse the use of the word) nature to me to be submissive.

That D/s life took a while to establish, but is a source of incredible joy to me, since I have met my perfect match in SL.

Now that person, while enormously skilled in Domination, has a submissive side to their character.  Some would see this as a failing, a weakness.  It is nothing of the sort!  To fully understand what a submissive gets from a D/s relationship, (non-Gorean, I should say) and to extract the best from a submissive, one must experience submission  first-hand.  That is our belief, at least.  

Recently this submissive has been given the opportunity to try the Domme side of D/s.  It can be done, but it is a steep learning curve to follow, if one is to avoid embarrassing the submissive.  Humiliation is a delicate area, and it is easy to wound the submissive and cause withdrawal.  Care must be taken with most submissives to draw them out and to cause them to stand strong and proud in their submission.  That is a skill which I am  learning, and which I will gain more aptitude with as time passes.  In a D/s relationship there should be love – there must be love - if that relationship is to prosper.  Skills must be learned, and it is difficult to make an omelette without breaking eggs.  The trick is to learn how to avoid getting bits of shell in the mixture!

So Soon?

It’s a bit like London buses – none for ever so long and then several (OK two so far) turn up at once!

Last night I was trawling the BDSM playgrounds for candidate Subs, when I was hailed by Sylvez and Danii, people that I have “known” for a while.  By that I mean I have read their blogs, as they apparently have read mine.  I met Danii a little while ago courtesy of an SL “hiccup” that cast Danii to wandering, when she encountered me as Domina’s Doll, rather restricted *giggles*. 

Times have changed and both of us are less restricted.  Danii is still in touch with her submissive nature, and I was allowed to borrow Danii’s leash for the evening.  Well one thing led to another and I visited Syl’s home, which was fabulous.  I’m still reeling from the encounter, which rivals my meeting with Lex Berchot and Mistress Vannesh in Diloba at Thaddy Swarzmann’s invitation in the summer.  I trust our meeting will not be an isolated one, and I look forward to meeting them again.  So thanks to Syl, Danii, Pina and Bodan3 for allowing me a peek into your world.  My horizons continue to broaden!

What to Say?

It is a while since my last post on here.  I spent a long time as a slave using exclusively RLV and recently, when Domina released me from my slave status and allowed me to use SLV I was disorientated.  How could a former slave cope with such enormity?

Well franky, it has been difficult!  Having spent the vast bulk of my SL under RLV, in various forms of bondage or restraint, freedom is frightening.  But it can be overcome!

I am Rachael Ezvalt’s SL wife, and lover.  That alone is enough for me, but I am now Mistress Ayesha, and that  isn’t a joke – my experience as a submissive/slave stands me in very good stead to bring other submissive/slaves  through to a self awareness in that status.  To start out nervous and needy and to become confident, content and loyal is a difficult but very rewarding journey.  I hope that I will be as supportive of any sub/slave in my care/ownership as my Domina has been to me,

Mistress Ayesha

 though I am still on a journey to full self-awareness.  I have recently met some of my old friends, and the dubious pleasure of IM is now granted to me!

There is much to wonder at in SL, and my journey continues!  I am on the look-out for a suitable sub or slave to nurture, so I am to be seen around the various playgrounds of SL.

A brief note on my appearance:  I have changed radically twice in the last month.  My profile here is not current but I will update it when I am happy with the overall appearance.

The Best Thing that Ever Happened

I said I’d ask someone important.  I did.  Domina said yes.  In fact on Saturday night I knelt down and I asked Domina another question…she said Yes then as well!  We are partnered, officially!

On Saturday 15th November I became Domina Rachael Ezvalt’s wife in SL.  We were on Hawaii, at about 7:00 to 8:00 pm GMT, we exchanged our vows and rings, and it was done.  My SL ambition fulfilled, I have found my perfect partner!  It’s odd; a few days before, I would not have dared to even hope that Domina would partner me.  I loved her, I have loved her for a long time now, but to partner her?  Surely that way lay insanity?

We stand ready to commit ourselves each to the other

 

Now I am confident, collected and sure in my love for Domina, and in Domina’s love for me.  Now also I begin to learn the ways to Domination. I have a good teacher, the Best!  I will apply the rules I have learned that govern the D/s lifestyle we embrace.  It is my turn to guide and nurture a Sub through to fulfillment.  I am sure that with the care and guidance I will have from Domina, and Miss Eoin, I will succeed!

Whatever Next?

A new face, a new life?  Someone very important to me is going to be asked whether this girl may tell everyone her good news.  Those impatient to know what I’m rambling on about may check my inworld profile – it’s a bit of a giveaway!  I believe the phrase in common parlance is er…woot!

What is Dollification?

Now here’s a question!  I am Rachael’s Doll now.  Should a Doll post?  People don’t know whether to talk to this Doll or not.  This Doll dances at Club Bondage, so why not talk to it?

They say imitation is a sincere form of flattery.  I don’t think my Domina feels flattered, and neither do I.  Last night I saw an imitation of myself at CB. It was someone’s sub, kitted out to look like me.  With respect, I submit (!) that the imitation was only skin deep.  It LOOKED like me, but it wasn’t me, nor was it anything like me.  It was not a Doll, mind you neither am I, I can still think and still speak, mostly.

I am examining my subspace, testing my limits, with my lovely Domina, who understands me so well!  I don’t think I like being imitated.  Maybe I am too sensitive, too touchy and a bit possessive of my status.

I am trying not to be prideful, honestly.