Careful Thought

This post is made on a day when most folk have better things to do.  This is one of my “Better Things”.

My topic here is the delicate question of how to “Switch” successfully in SL.  There are folk in SL who while Dominant in our second world, are submissive in RL.  There are  not many, I suspect who are Dominant in RL who choose to be submissive in SL.  I wonder why?  I suspect that the RL Dominant just sees no reason to be sub in SL.  That I can understand, but as an undecided case in RL (I’ve never had the opportunity to test myself) with strong subbie tendencies; it was second (if you will excuse the use of the word) nature to me to be submissive.

That D/s life took a while to establish, but is a source of incredible joy to me, since I have met my perfect match in SL.

Now that person, while enormously skilled in Domination, has a submissive side to their character.  Some would see this as a failing, a weakness.  It is nothing of the sort!  To fully understand what a submissive gets from a D/s relationship, (non-Gorean, I should say) and to extract the best from a submissive, one must experience submission  first-hand.  That is our belief, at least.  

Recently this submissive has been given the opportunity to try the Domme side of D/s.  It can be done, but it is a steep learning curve to follow, if one is to avoid embarrassing the submissive.  Humiliation is a delicate area, and it is easy to wound the submissive and cause withdrawal.  Care must be taken with most submissives to draw them out and to cause them to stand strong and proud in their submission.  That is a skill which I am  learning, and which I will gain more aptitude with as time passes.  In a D/s relationship there should be love – there must be love – if that relationship is to prosper.  Skills must be learned, and it is difficult to make an omelette without breaking eggs.  The trick is to learn how to avoid getting bits of shell in the mixture!

~ by Ayesha Askham-Ezvalt on December 25, 2008.

3 Responses to “Careful Thought”

  1. lol i happen to be one of those very few who are dominant in real life and absolutly submissive in SL XD

  2. Hmm Aisha.

    You say Y/you are, but give no reasoning. I’d love to know a little of the “why”. I only know how my mind works and a little of my Dominant’s. In the end it is what Y/you experience that counts and seeing what is “over the wall in the next field” is pretty compelling, but if Y/you would, I’d love to hear Y/you tell it from Y/your own viewpoint

  3. well i must admit that in the recent years i have been leaning mostly to the submissive side, but i once was only dominant in both real and virtual life. i dont know how to really give it thought other then life sucks…and life changes people….. now that i really think deeply into it i realize that im no longer dominant….. btw you can add me to MSN

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