How can you hang on to a dream? Part 1

How can you be really sure of the way it feels? With apologies to Tim Buckley.

What I am getting at here is just how do you put your SL (your Second Life) into your 1st, or real, life?

When you start out in SL, if you are anything like me it is a big adventure. Then it quickly becomes a tussle to find out just “how” you do some things that you REALLY want to do. Then, if you are lucky and you can be bothered to stick at it, you find out the rewards of your SL.

To some it is never more than an adventure, and they are happy with that. To some it becomes an obsession, more is never enough. To them SL becomes an all-consuming passion and occasionally their nightmare.

I went through the obsessive phase; my RL was not going well (understatement, if I am honest) and it seemed that my SL was far more rewarding and enjoyable than RL. But if you try to live your life in SL you soon find that many aspects of it are just as contrary and troublesome as RL – this is hardly surprising, since all of SL is made by REAL people, and all avatars are being driven by REAL people, with all their foibles and complications! Add to that the technical aspects of SL and you are in a fine old mess!

But if you stick at it, and if you are fortunate to meet someone special, then the path becomes a little easier as time passes. This however leads to another, and perhaps a greater danger: How do you relate your SL relationship to your RL? It is tempting to try to bring the two together. For some, things works and they are as comfortable with the RL aspect of the person they met in SL as can be. Frankly, in my experience they are the fortunate few. In SL we tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves and emotions can be heightened by the nature of communication within SL.

For me, I found SL to be a way of externalising and realising a part of me that had been deliberately suppressed in RL for most of my adult life. Now that isn’t so for everyone and some find that being something, or someone, in SL that one isn’t or cannot be in RL unpalatable, or even unacceptable.

I have found that the urge to be with or meet or in any way interact with the person you know in SL almost overwhelming and the realisation that neither you nor they may be what you imagine yourself or themselves to be can be crushing.

Something has to occur in you that allows you to rationalise the SL person and the RL person, and sometimes those two aspects MUST remain separate. I remember stories of folk that were so completely consumed by their SL that they neglected their RL bodies, to their cost in ill health or worse. I believe that I found my way past that, but I know full well that many of my RL friends and acquaintances feel that I expend far too much time, money and emotion on what they see as “just pixels” on a computer.

To me it is their loss, not mine. I know what my SL is worth to me, it is not more than life itself, but it IS what makes my life worth living. So then we come full circle. How do we hang on to the dream? As far as I can tell we just do!

That was a bit “stream of consciousness” and I will add more to it once I have had time to think a bit. But if you read and understand my ramblings, have your say. Please! It all helps me to establish a sense of proportion.

~ by Ayesha Askham-Ezvalt on January 23, 2019.

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